Pulled down

trees in the back yard

Tola came the other day and asked me to lend her some money which she really needed to travel. She said she needed three hundred Naira. I only had a Five Hundred Naira note, so I gave it to her since she was going to give it back in two days. Months have passed and Tola has not said anything. Maybe she works with a different calendar. She has decided to act like nothing ever happened and I have decided to play along. Lesson learned. When someone asks you for one naira give them the exact amount because giving anything more will be misconstrued as ‘dashing’.

Malik came and said He needed transport money to go home and I gave it to Him without thinking twice. Two days later, he said he was really hungry and needed to buy food. He genuinely looked hungry and although I was hesitant this time around, I couldn’t risk not giving him some money. I would rather he thought I was gullible than for 200 Naira to stop me from getting to heaven for not helping the needy. A week later, I heard a knock on my door and I opened it only to see Malik standing there. Till this day, I cannot explain how he found my house. He was at it again, he needed money to get home. I really could not believe it, I was offended. Not because of the money I could be parting with but because he thought I was that gullible. What Malik didn’t know was the fact that news had gone round that he did that to everyone in class and all he needed money for was to buy, lets just say illegal substances for consumption. In his defense, he was probably genuinely hungry the last time, just not for what I thought he was hungry for. This time there was no hesitation, I said no and I didn’t feel guilty at all. Lesson: Don’t be an enabler.

Gani was someone I met at school. He always thought he spoke really good English but no one really cared. It was borderline annoying as he tried constantly to correct every single error made. I personally found it more funny than annoying. He really deep down, had good intentions. You see, he was paying his way through school and I admired that. Every now and then he will come ask for money to print out an assignment. From that it became money for transport. It became worse until one day it was officially annoying. No, he didn’t come to ask me for money, he brought a friend of his to ask me for money. Apparently, I had now become a bank. It took the grace of God for me to say no calmly.

chopped woodThe government came yesterday and said the tree in the back yard was too high and they needed to take it down. I was kind of relieved but Β I still couldn’t sleep last night. I wondered what I would tell them. They will be distraught. How do you think I should break it to them? How do I tell them the tree isn’t here anymore. I guess I will just have to say it as it is. It will probably go like this, ‘Hi guys, something sad happened. You know that tree where the money grows? It’s been pulled down’.

8 thoughts

  1. Oh lord, Kainos this was hilarious….and i suppose you didn’t mean for it to be πŸ˜€
    And the ending killed it hahahaha

    Brb….i need to excuse myself to laugh some more.

  2. Unless it’s someone I know really well, I only lend out money I can afford to dash. I pulled the tree where the money grows, and locked it in a vault! Nice one πŸ™‚

    1. Yeah I think that’s really the best thing. Making sure you have something left to fall back on because some people just don’t care and you’ll end up being broke.

      I’m pretty sure you have a tree hidden somewhere. You’ve got to get that money somehow. hehe

      Thank you πŸ™‚

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